Tampons (Photo credit: mag3737)
Allergy season is upon us! Sucks! I can see the suffering in people’s faces as they participate in life, walking, talking and enjoying the day! I can see the watering eyes and stuffy noses like a big screen TV set up in my attic window reflecting the day outside.
Mum told me once, now Ambien Grace, you are allergic to these things so in case you ever manage to get into AmeriCorps, Peace Corps, doggie daycare or whatever other agencies that may accept your faulted ways, you will know what to tell them.
Tampons/No, what a horrible habit! Nothing should be going in or out of your vagina. Never!/scented or unscented
Incense/no/it leads to smoking pot and I forbid you to do so.
Strawberries/will make you break out in unknown origins of your body that should not see the light of day.
Lesbians/just put a piece of Caution Do Not Enter tape down there and remember too much sex causes UTI’s and homophobic parents.
Shampoos that are not brand name/you have severe, I say, severe and disgusting scalp and dry skin issues. Come to think of it, stay away from lotions, crèmes and what not. Remember what it did to your private region?
A man’s clothing of any sort/we did not raise you to be a boy and it condones cross dressing and sexual identity questions.
The Outside World/put plainly, do not come in contact with anyone that carries knives, homosexual ideation, whose parents have an income level below $100,000., have tattoos, piercings and do not know how to play golf, tennis or ride a horse.
Finally, Ambien Grace, you are an allergy, we must admit to the truth; I raised you and tried but to no avail. You have cost me time, money, endless trips to strange houses to pick up said, drunk daughter and most importantly, I have lost belief in your speeches pathology. Whatever trash had been in your birthmother’s veins cannot be weeded out.
P.S.
Please be out of the house by May. You will 23 and if you haven’t got your shit together, you will be disowned.
Now, see, those are allergies. The hardcore kind. Honestly, I am not really sure where I will go once the finally curtain calls. Beckett Couvillion isn’t mine. South Concord Meadows always has white trash stepped up a notch to gray rubbish apartments for rent but they don’t allow cats.
No matter, I couldn’t have a cat anyway; I’m allergic, so the people say!
