I thought I knew what I was doing
I was wrong
And, so the story goes, on and on and on, for persons of unknown originality, plucked from the heavens and set on earth, nicked named…Ambien Grace!
Well AmeriCorps looks like a bust from the email I got…
Peace corps isn’t going to happen…vet tech isn’t going to be easy, I suppose I could try that!
Ethically speaking Mummy could help me with the hard stuff. Essentially anything that is written and I stumble myself through the rest of it. It’s online! What better place for me to do what I do best; Google and text and ask, Mother Theresa to spin some lyrical wordy essays.
UNH kinda sucked cuz Mummy held the ole, Communication/Science and Disorders title out her ass like an American flag blowing in the breeze. She managed to do the writing, the thinking and the finger pointing for me…All I had to do was get my drunken ass out of bed and make believe I held some measure of human-ness. That had been a simple, task. I had the Wildcats wardrobe, the sullen and over medicated shape of a misguided young adult and well, sex…that was my major.
Ma and Pa Kennels, my last place of sedation would look good on my application. I most likely should avoid anything questions pertaining to ‘how I supervised’ people directly under my management. During my tenure there the only anatomy studied were on two legs, smelled of wonderful floral and herbal arrangements and currently have sworn off relationships of any sort via having traveled with me. When Ambien sticks to something it’s hard to lose the morose cloud that hangs above.
Well, fuck ‘em. The nasty little urinary tract infections that kept happening began to make Mother Theresa curious anyway.
Vet Tech experience other than defiling women at work? My parents have only owned pedigrees first generation and I had a cat once. He died on my 18th birthday. Mummy and Daddy propped him up until I got home from break.
Sin of omission number two? Mother Theresa and Father Floyd believed in petting the pedigree with pearls, pampering and regular vet visits. The cat on the other hand, was free, scruffy and not of proper bloodlines, he never saw the vet! Probably not something to brag about on the application.
‘I need to let you go in order for you to be who you need to be.’
That came from Kate the psycho bitch.
This coming from Mummy:
‘Ambien, you are far too young for your age!’
This coming straight from the straight person with lesbian tendencies, mouth:
I don’t know how to communicate…
I fuck anything that moves. And, I have a pronounced stutter that displays me as slow and a rider on the short bus!
Life sucks sometimes. I get it. I really do. But I need to find my center. I can travel if I want to, run to my mother, go see Penny in Texas, join the Peace Corps, drop out of AmeriCorps or become a Vet Tech…but I can’t run away from me.
Plain and simple. No matter where I go there I am.
Sometimes I just want to give up and drink again. Every day it seems to easiest route is to throw in the towel.
So, going to school, maybe, once again! Highly unlikely. I couldn’t draw blood from a used tampon. Yet, somewhere out there we all find ourselves on a bridge where there are only two ways out. Ambien Grace People, non-earth beings, take the third option…Jump! It doesn’t hurt when you fall only when you land!
Mantra for the night:
I am twenty two and my mother does not encourage me to try and be anything but like her. She shouldn’t be wasting my time with in-depth details about my cigarette intake.
And, the ending mantra that will live infinitely in the minds of ‘dyed to be blonde wanna be distinctive but small minded stuck in Concord NH, wasted on Mike’s Hard Lemonade, Oxy and Melatonin, vamps:
I’m a horrible uncaring person who’s going to end up alone for the rest of my life working a shit end job…
Over and over again, my mantra sings to me.
Amen to That..
On a road to nowhere-
Ambien Grace
