The Past Can be Redone?

I’ve fallen I have sunk so low

I’m not really sad…I don’t know what I am
I would get scared because a long distance relationship is easier than a hard fought relationship with someone closer to home. Penny, from Texas, wasn’t a prize but I didn’t mind because distance hurts less if something happened and my bigoted Mother found fewer things to dislike about me.
I think I feel remorse over that loss because she was like a security blanket!
FOREVER ANSWER FROM PSYCHO BITCH KATE:

“We will never be together that’s just how it is going to be. You knew that when this whole thing started.”

Study lesson for Ambien/Annie Grace handed down by above mentioned wiser and obviously more literate older girlfriend:
Codependent-we all look for someone to take care of us. Some of us don’t grow though, when we stop taking care of ourselves.

SAME OLD, SAME OLD, Ambien/Annie hiding from the truth:
“Be right back…I need sugar”

NEXT PATENTED ADULT RESPONSE:
“Let me know when you have had enough of her and we can go from there. I am married and you’re attached to a heterosexual who doesn’t like you touching her. And, honestly, you’re fuckin’ her and she’s fuckin’ cowboys down in Texas…I don’t need that kind of disease in my life.”

And, the truth, the truth…is usually somewhere in the middle of all the sadness the being with and around Ambien/Annie Grace brings:
“It saddens me when you let these women who love you in some strange ways, your mother’s homophobia and Penny’s heterosexuality, run your life and your emotions.
So, all I get to do is stand back and watch you hurt yourself over and over and over again. Physically, mentally, with drugs and booze and sometimes it gets difficult to watch.”

A sad and still abstract sage saying I’ve yet to figure out:

Love is always worth fighting for. That is why it is LOVE. If you didn’t have to fight for it…it would be called, like.

Indeed, at twenty-two, I am still that sad little girl who wasn’t allowed to play with people below my parent’s economic standing.

We are our own lies.

Heaven bent to take my hand and lead me through the fire be the long awaited answer to a long and painful fight
Truth be told I’ve tried my best but somewhere along the way I got caught up in all there was to offer and the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I’ve tried, I’ve fallen I have sunk so low I’ve messed up better I should know so don’t come ’round here And tell me I told you so
We all begin with good intent Love was raw and young we believed that we could change ourselves the past can be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden time always reveals in the lonely light of morning in the wound that would not heal it’s the bitter taste of losing everything, I’ve held so dear
I’ve fallen I have sunk so low I’ve messed up better I should know so don’t come ’round here And tell me I told you so
Heaven bent to take my hand I have nowhere left to turn I’ve lost to those I thought were friends to everyone I know
Oh, they turned their heads embarrassed Pretend that they don’t see but its one missed step, you’ll slip before you know it and there doesn’t seem a way to be redeemed
Though I’ve tried, I’ve fallen I have sunk so low I’ve messed up better I should know so don’t come ’round here And tell me I told you so, no
I’ve messed up better I should know but don’t come ’round here and tell me I told you so

SARAH MCLACHLAN – FALLEN LYRICS